I’ve been sitting here for a while trying to figure out how to write what is in my mind down on paper in a way that makes it coherent and meaningful. As you can see..I’m not doing such a great job. So let me tell you a few stories instead.
I have a friend whose husband gets “handsy” when he has a few drinks. He will inappropriately touch the women around him. No one says anything because they don’t want to make a scene or hurt the wife.
I have a friend whose spiritual leader made inappropriate sexual comments to her. Because they held a position of power over their progress and spiritual well being she feared setting boundaries.
I have a friend whose boss put her in a position of choosing to share a room with a male co-worker or lose her job. When she refused the boss relented and got her her own room but slowly cut her hours back until she was forced to find something else.
I have a friend whose partner frequently made inappropriate sexual comments to and about other people. She kept silent because she felt she had to keep the relationship.
I have a friend whose partner assumed that because she is bisexual that she would willing sleep with a girl he found “for them” even though he never asked her beforehand.
I could go on but most women who read this understand the scenarios I laid out. We are asked every day to put up with, to compromise, to think about the other person’s feelings first and so on. We get this. One of the things that makes women seek out groups of other women is to get relief from these daily intrusion by the men around us. These sisterhood gatherings are our safe spaces. They should be.
This is why it’s so important to treat our sisters (and all women are our sisters no matter their background or biology) with love and respect. Lately I have seen women treating others poorly. We are each other’s safe space from the world, yet so often we are bogged down by jealousy, pettiness, possessiveness or a need to make others as miserable as ourselves.
I’m here to ask us to stop. Men intrude upon us every day.They push themselves into our space, take their desire out on our bodies and minds whether we want it or not, put their wants over ours. Even the nicest, most enlightened still have moments of stepping over the line. It doesn’t make them bad, just male. With all the bullshit coming from them let’s not add to it.
Let’s be sisters. Let’s stop treating each other horribly and stand together.