This is going to be a little rambly so bear with me kids.
It is sometimes surprising the things you learn about yourself in the strangest places or oddest moments. Like your car or the shower or the parking lot of a Walmart. (they have a good price on Fage. Don’t judge) Last week with Mercury going out of retrograde it was my turn to be graced by the clue by four not once but twice. Some girls get all the luck.
First was the realization that I am simply not made for sitting still. Oh don’t get me wrong, I like a good couch surf as much as the next person but honestly, if I want to be active I have to stay active. Doing so makes me happy. This may seem like a no-brainer to you but we can’t all be graced with that kind of wisdom. For a long time now there has been this huge internal struggle where I beat myself up because I have no energy to do the things that need to be done when the cure all along was to simply keep moving and almost if by magic things get done. Who knew! Just as a rolling stone gathers no moss a rolling Sylvari gathers no …. things. Since going back to an outside of the house job things have gotten cleaned, food has been cooked in buckets, working out has happened on a somewhat regular basis (ish) gyms have been joined so weights can be lifted! However the biggest and best part is that being busy simply makes me happy. It’s not a perfect system but it’s a damn sight better than the one I was using.
The second was that sisterhood is far more important to me than I thought. Not those sisters forced on you by circumstances of birth but the ties that women share that men, as much as we love them, simply can’t understand. The most important of these is a feeling of safety. After hearing the story of a lovely lady in the Pagan community whose story of a person in a position of authority who took advantage of her I am filled with rage. We should be protecting one another. We should be able to go into circle, take a teaching, even just spend time with those in who we placed a sacred trust without the pressure or fear of unwanted attention or manipulation. Worse is when progress in your path is held back as a way to manipulate those women. I am angered on her behalf and on behalf of any woman who has fallen prey to unscrupulous so called religious leaders. My goal is to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else if I can help it. From this moment forward I’m calling people out on their poor behavior. grr…
In other news , seeds and plants are ordered for the new gardens. Fifty six days till spring.