justsylvari

Just another polar bear adrift in the sea

Waiting for the end of time to hurry up and arrive March 17, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — sylvarih @ 1:13 am

You may not believe in the Universe directing you with gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) nudges but I do. Lately it’s been less than subtle with me. What is she trying to talk to me about? Goals it seems. I can’t swing a cat without a conversation about them popping up.

What are your goals? Where do you see yourself. Nor is it limited to one area of my life. Struggling with motivation for classes, I have questioned why I am working so hard to get a degree. A wise friend, listened patiently to all my reasons and excuses and then asked me a question which stopped me in my tracks. He said – “What is your end goal?” I used to know the answer to that now I’m not so sure. Is it just a matter of rededicating myself to that original goal or is it time to re-evaluate my path?

My Gwersi also task me with the same question. Look at my life up to now and evaluate what my goals are from here. Those are in the same vein but with a different feel to them. To learn what I can, to carry on the tradition, to teach others that tradition and to live my life in a way that feels authentic to me. Trying not to feel under the time gun with these but it’s there in the background always whispering in my ear. Plus taking a look at my life up till now produced some ….. odd… results.

Personally there are so many goals they are beginning to feel like drops in a bucket. Get in shape..no…get started on putting muscle mass on. Get the gardens and yard in shape. Get the glass room up and going. blah….blah…..blah….So many goals I heap on myself there is no possible way to accomplish them all in a timely fashion.

In-between these reminders there is the opposing viewpoint that it’s the journey that matters most. That if you are always looking to the future you are not living in the moment. The future never arrives. The past can never be relived. All we have is the journey and our moment in it.

So I took this weekend off from the usual stuff and did some thinking about it. Some things are clearer, some still vague. Two days isn’t going to solve all the issues. Lots of time over the next few weeks some more things will most likely filter thru.

Having goals is a great idea. Having too many not so much. For me, the most important part is the journey. It’s been an interesting one so far. I can’t wait to see where I take me next.

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