justsylvari

Just another polar bear adrift in the sea

I dreamed I met a Galilean February 22, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — sylvarih @ 2:24 am

 and he showed me an elephant. 

 This may or may not be a surprise but I am fascinated by faith. Not any one specific faith but the expression of it in general. There is a beauty in honest faith whether it be Catholic Mass or a Vodoun Priestess being ridden by Loa or any other ritual. 

Some of the first images we made as humans were an expression of faith. An attempt to reach out to something beyond us. We still make those attempts. It’s mind blowing. 

 There is an old tale of the three blind yogis and the king. Three blind yogis are traveling when they come across an elephant. Each feels the elephant and declares that he knows what an elephant looks like. The first says “an elephant looks like a bat!” for he had the ear. The second says “an elephant looks like a tree you fool!” for he had the leg. The third said “You are both wrong and elephant is surely like a snake” for he had the trunk. They fell to arguing until the king happened by them. “Oh wise one.. surely you can enlighten us” The king looked at the elephant and said ” You are all correct for an elephant is like a bat, a tree and a snake and is none of these things”. 

Religions are like that. We all have our piece of the elephant. It’s a beautiful thing to see others in joyous celebration of their elephant. Ok I think I have worn that to a nub. 

Not all ritual is faith. Sometimes it’s just words and noises. But you know. You have seen a moment when someone’s faith shines out from them. Even if the only time you have experienced that is in your own church or mosque the next time you watch another religion’s celebration look for that spark. It’s probably there and once you see it you can’t unsee it everywhere. More than anything else it’s that amazing ability to reach beyond ourselves for something that binds us together. It’s like a song we all can sing. You may not know the words to my song but you get the harmony. 

 

I like big butts February 21, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — sylvarih @ 2:46 am

  Especially mine. 

I am just like any other girl. I have spent most of my adult life (and quite a bit of my childhood) wrestling with body images. It doesn’t help that I am naturally inclined to be *ahem* super curvy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my curves! But I know that they are not the image of mainstream beauty. 

 Over the years I have done the diets to death, sweat buckets of sweat in gyms and other workouts and emotionally ate my way through decades. Couple that with a *mumblymumblysomenumber* of years working in a hospital kitchen has given me a good grasp of what is the right way to eat for health. How many times have I told people “skinny people aren’t healthy, skinny people are skinny” . I know it pat in theory. So far, so good. GO me! 

Yet today when I got on the scale and saw that in this last week I had gained 6 pounds panic set in. Instead of examining my behavior this last week or realizing that my body is still on a roller coaster ride of thyroid fun, I started scrambling for get it done quick fix to my problem. I went over all the diets from my past and settled on one that I thought would produce the quickest results. Not the best mind you, but the quickest. Even after all this time I still fell into the diet trap. It’s siren song is hard to resist. I should throw the damn scale away but I can’t. The best I can do is minimize the damage but not using that as my only measurement of health.  

It took me a little while but eventually I stopped myself from going overboard. I reminded myself that it’s all about health and before I go to the extreme again. Healthy meals instead of ones that deprive me. Then I went for a walk even though it was freezing out. Gods it felt good! 

Part of me is saddened by how easy it was to slip into an old way of thinking. Part of me is happy I didn’t give in to it. 

One step, one day. 

 

Be it ever so humble February 19, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — sylvarih @ 12:39 am

Home will drive you crazy.

For the last few weeks Pinky and I have been working on finally getting our home in shape. The house was built in 1930 and has suffered in the last few decades from unintentional neglect as well as a a less than talented handyman. So begins the adventure.

First on the list was pulling up the kitchen floor. The golden linoleum floor was torn in a few spots which was a safety hazard. Up came the harvest gold floor. Under that and the subfloor was a red vinyl tile floor and a subfloor. Under that was a light blue vinyl tile floor and it’s subfloor. Under that was a dark blue vinyl tile floor which was tarred to the wood floor under that. Today we discovered there may be another wood floor under the one the dark blue tiles are glued to. While our plan to rescue the wood floor is kaput there are some fun options out there to replace the three layers (and 2 inches) of flooring we took out.

But before we could get to any of that the kitchen sink started leaking. Quick fix Pinky said… until he went to take the old parts off. And they break. First the pipe that connects both sinks just came off in his hand. Turns out it wasn’t really secured to the drain pipe. It was just sitting there. Off to Home Depot we go to get more pieces. Come home, he gets everything together and the drain breaks. The drain to the sink was plastic and it snaps like an 80 year old’s hip. Off to Home Depot he goes to get more pieces. Finally we have a working sink. WooHoo!

It’s the nature of these old houses that every project will involve 7 more steps and 10 times more money that planned. It’s an adventure but it’s our adventure.

 

 
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